Freaked Out

This kitty looks like I feel these days. (Sorry photo of freaked out kitty has been removed, please use your imagination, a terrified kitty being carried from a burning building by a huge fireman.)The state of South Carolina in her infinite ignorance has made some changes to Medicaid benefits. They used to cover most of my prescription medications. No small feat as I rely on over 20 prescriptions a month.

I was informed recently that they would only cover six prescriptions a month with four "emergency overrides". Ten, ten prescriptions a month. So, if this be the case, I must choose which disease I prefer to treat. Hmmm, lovely. Let's see, would I like to continue to treat my Rheumatoid Arthritis or will I treat the HIV?

I can see no point in treating HIV if I have to live with the pain of RA. I can see no point in treating RA if I am spiralling into a pit of "full blown AIDS". Been there, done that, several times. Not again, thank you. Maybe I will simply fill up my basket as follows:

Anti depressants x1
Anti anxiety meds x 1
Pain Medications x4 (all the fun ones)

Well, that about does it. Not a pretty picture no matter which way I go. But of course, being a "long term survivor", I'll make it work. I will wear myself out on the phone with social workers, pharmacies, drug manufacturers. All of the people I speak with will probably be younger than my virus. They certainly will not have worked in their area for as long as I've lived with my illness.

It really does get old. Sometimes, I hate this fuc#*&% country! I lived abroad for over six years and never even paid for an aspirin. I have friends in the UK and Ireland that are employed as social workers or in various areas medicine. In their own words, "they just can't wrap their heads around this kind of situation".

Are we EVER going to reform health care? There's a democrat on deck for the white house and the government after next January will certainly appear more concerned with this and other questions that the republicans virtually ignored. But the mess this country is in is so critical in many areas and will make heavy demands on the new administration. I am delighted with the way the election turned out. But I will wait to see if my life improves as a person living with long term illness.

The poor screeching kitty in the photo would probably rather not be in the rescuing arms of the fire fighter but the alternative is even more dire. I wonder if I have the energy to hit the street screeching (again) or will I retreat into the private dignity of my personal crumbling building.