The Best in Us

Matthew, my nephew,  has always embodied the best in all of us.

I remember standing in the common area of my college suite, back when phones were still attached to walls.   I remember my mother saying,  "You're an aunt, your sister had a little boy."  (This was also back in the days where the sex wasn't known or revealed until the birth.) "Yes, yes, Celia is fine, just tired.  You can call her tomorrow".   I asked for his name.   Matthew. 

I walked up to the Main Street of the perfect college town, alone.  I entered the picturesque little church where I uttered a prayer of thanks, a request for his protection and my promise of love.  I didn't know it at the time but it was the first nearly selfless, adult prayer of my life. 

Matthew has always embodied what is best in all of us.  Matt has never disappointed me. He has a limitless generosity of spirit.  He sees the best in everyone and everything.  He has a capacity to love with a passion and pureness that some call pathological.   His love of God has often been questioned and even criticized.

Matt loves and admires all the men in the family but he went his own road.  His creative talents were gifts which he studied, utilized and worked tirelessly to improve.  However he also made the decision to add to his creative resume.  He embarked on study,  seeking a degree that would provide him, his new wife and their future with some security.

I visited with Matt and his wife, Amber, recently.  She also has a huge capacity to love and Amber has taught us a valuable lesson.  Amber sees and loves Matt as a man and her husband.   It is her love that has helped us to fully respect and honor Matthew as an adult.

My recent visit was because Matt was turning 30 and Amber was throwing a birthday party for him.  Early in the evening Matt proudly told me that he and Amber were expecting a baby.  I found myself uttering a prayer in my heart similar to the one I had prayed for Matthew 30 years ago.

I cannot wait to be a grand aunt and to watch this new life find it's way in the world.   The day after the party I sat at the tired old piano at my sisters house.  I remembered all the time spent tickling the old cracked ivories and I reflected on the happy hours passed there .  

I had a glimpse of sitting there with my grand nephew and I heard him complain to his granny "Can't we get a new piano Grandma?" and before my sister could reply, I heard Matthew gently reply to his son, "No."   

And of course being the offspring of the best in us, a simple "no" would never suffice.  Matthew of course would not expect that is should.  I lost myself in the pleasant fantasy of seeing my "little Matthew" patiently and kindly explaining to his son, the long and loving relationship that the old piano has shared with our family.

And I'm sure the new young man will love all the men in the family.  I am also sure that he will follow his heart and blaze his own trail.  I hope one day that he too will have a partner who loves him and will teach us all to respect him as a man and as an adult.

I sure am glad that I am old and my trails are blazed.